


Someone Who Fights Back

by Theamazingannie



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), M/M, also John mulaney doesn't exist in this universe, cuz im not funny enough to write a comedy routine myself, so I stole some of his...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-19 10:41:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20655884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theamazingannie/pseuds/Theamazingannie
Summary: Eddie is dragged to a comedy club to watch Richie "Trashmouth" Tozier.





	1. The Clubhouse

**Author's Note:**

> I've always hated horror movies, but for some reason, my life now belongs to the IT movies. This is my contribution to the fandom that now owns me.

"This place is a hotel for bacteria," Eddie said, scowling at the inside of the comedy club as he held his arms to his chest. If his mother knew where he was right now she would have an aneurysm. Luckily, he had convinced her they were going to the much cleaner restaurant down the street. Eddie wished that was where they were.

"You're not gonna bail, are you?" Beverly pouted at him. "You promised. I really think you're gonna have a good time."

"I'm not gonna bail," he told her. He followed her to a seat at the front. She sat down immediately, but he hesitated. "But, just saying, if I get asbestos, it's your fault."

Beverly rolled her eyes. "Sit down, Eddie."

Eddie pulled a wet wipe out of his fanny pack and rubbed it against the back of his chair, then grabbed a second one to wipe off the table in front of him. He ignored Beverly's annoyed look. "You'll thank me later," he said, finally sitting down.

Soon after, a waitress arrived at their table. "Can I get you two anything to drink?"

"Do you have any herbal teas?" Eddie asked her. She simply stared back at him. "Water will be fine," he added quietly, looking down.

"Coke, please," Beverly told her. "Thank you." Once the waitress left, she smacked Eddie on the shoulder. "Would you relax? No one ever got asbestos from one night in a comedy club."  
"Give me an hour in the library and I can prove you wrong. In fact, let's go now." He moved to stand up, but Beverly pulled him back down.

"Eddie, please. My friend from my drama class is gonna be here to watch his friend perform and then we can all hang out afterward. Maybe you'll even make some new friends. Bill's cool and I'm sure his friend is, too."

"Oh, I see. You just wanna pawn me off on some rando so you can bang Bill from drama, don't you?"

Beverly rolled her eyes. "Bill's just a friend. I think you'll like him." She perked up. "There he is! Be nice." She shot him a warning look. Eddie turned his head to watch the tall guy approach. He was skinny and pale and had his hair pushed back with some sort of gel. When he saw the two of them, he raised his hand in a partial wave and walked over. Beverly stood to greet him, exchanging a quick hug. Bill took the seat to the left of Beverly.

"You m-m-must be Eddie, right? I'm B-b-bill. It's nice to finally m-meet you." He held his hand up to shake Eddie's.

Eddie looked at it hesitantly. "When's the last time you washed your hands?"

Bill looked confused by that. "Um, maybe twenty m-minutes ago? I went to the b-b-bathroom before I left..."

"And did you take public transportation here?"

Bill looked over at Beverly who mouthed "germaphobe" to him with an apologetic smile. Bill slowly put his hand down. "S-so, what do you think of the p-place, Bev?"  
"It looks pretty cool. I'm looking forward to meeting your friend. What did you say his name was again?"

Eddie missed the answer to that because a sudden voice from the stage filled the room. "Welcome to The Clubhouse, everyone!" the man onstage boomed. "Hope everyone is having a good time!" The crowd cheered. "You guys sound excited tonight! Let's get started right away with the crowd favorite, Richie 'Trashmouth' Tozier!" The crowd cheered louder this time. The announcer handed off the microphone to another man who walked onstage. This man was wildly tall, with crazy long legs, thick glasses, and a bird's nest of shoulder-length dark curls. He looked like a total loser, not the comedy god that the crowd seemed to think he was. Eddie slumped down in his seat, already ready to go home.

"How's everyone doing tonight?" the man, Richie, asked the audience. They all cheered wildly, including Bev and Bill. Richie walked over to the stool in the middle of the stage and sat down, his long legs almost reaching the floor. "Got any University of Maine students here?" Most of the crowd cheered. The Clubhouse was only a couple blocks away from the main campus; most of the people who hung out in this part of town were university students. "God, university is a pain in the ass, isn't it?" Richie continued. "So I'm an English major." He paused as the audience laughed. "Exactly! No one has any respect for English majors. And they are right not to! I'm dishing out thousands of dollars to get told to read a bunch of books that I have no intention of reading! But it's kinda easy to be an English major. Like, in my analysis class, we had to write these essays over some Emily Dickenson poems, and I wrote mine on why I believed Emily Dickenson to be a lesbian. And I got a B!" Eddie found himself chuckling at that. Bev looked over at him and smiled, and he resumed his glowering stance. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the stage. "Since I'm just gliding through all my classes, I have plenty of time for partying." A couple of the audience members cheered to that. "I was at this one party a few weeks ago, and it was getting kinda out of hand. Furniture was getting broken, people were defecating in places they should not be." Eddie shuddered at that. His eyes widened when it looked like Richie winked at him, but he could've been imagining it because he just turned right back to his routine. "So things were going absolutely insane, and I was absolutely shitfaced, and I heard someone say something about the police, and in a brilliant moment of word association, I shouted at the top of my lungs, 'Fuck da police!' And everyone else joined in. Now, just imagine a group of drunk, white children just screaming 'Fuck. Da. Police.'" Eddie had tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. He didn't even try to pretend like he wasn't having a good time anymore. He made eye contact with Richie again, and there was no way to mistake that he definitely winked again. Eddie felt his face turn red and hoped it was too dark in the club for anyone to notice. "Now, the reason that someone had said something about the police, was because the police were there. So there is just this officer standing at the top of the stairs to this basement, watching these drunk toddlers screaming 'fuck da police' right in his face! My buddy Stan, who is normally a pretty chill guy, is the first one to notice the officer. He takes a 40, smashes it on the ground, and yells, 'Scatter!' And everybody runs in a different direction. I notice this tiny window in the laundry room and I climbed out of it and started running across the backyard and I see this fence and I think, 'I've never climbed a fence that high before,' and then I woke up at home. Goodnight, everybody!" The crowd started cheering louder than ever and Eddie joined them because he couldn't remember the last time he laughed that hard. Bev smiled over at him as she clapped and mouthed, "I told you so." He didn't even care. This was the best night he had had in a very long time. Possibly ever.

He was just getting ready to settle in for the next act when Richie came out through a side door, swiped a shot glass from the tray of the waitress, and downed it before settling down in the seat next to Eddie. Eddie stared, confused and a little horrified until he saw Bill and Richie bump fists. "Awesome show, Richie," Bill told him. "Does S-stan know you name-dropped him in that s-story?"

Richie waved him off. "I name drop all of you in my sets, B-b-bill. It's part of the benefits of being friends with me. You're like famous by association. Like that time we were playing in the sewers and you-"

"B-beep beep, Richie," Bill said quickly. To Eddie's surprise, Richie immediately stopped talking. Unsurprisingly, he moved on to his next topic, which, Eddie realized with a sigh, was him.

"You look really familiar," Richie told him, squinting his eyes and rubbing his hand on his chin to show he was deep in thought. "Have we met before?"

"You're not going to tell me that you've seen me in your dreams, huh? Cuz that's a little tacky."

Richie snapped his fingers, pointing at Eddie. "I got it! I saw your picture on the wall of the woman I was fucking last night."

Eddie scoffed. "Yeah Yeah, very mature, Tozier. I know you weren't fucking my mom last night cuz I was with her."

"You were fucking your mom last night?" Richie held his hands up. "I was just making a joke, but that's kinda fucked up."

"No!" Eddie shrieked, glaring at him. "That's disgusting. So is playing in the sewers. Have you ever heard of a staph infection?"

"No," Richie replied. "Cuz I'm cool. Cool people don't get diseases."

"I can name plenty of cool people who have had diseases. Being cool doesn't make you suddenly immune to disease. Not that you would know, cuz you're like the lamest person I've ever met."

Richie raised his eyebrows, a surprised smile appearing on his lips. "Uh-huh. Says the guy who still lives with his mother."

"My mother is very protective of me. She's afraid I'm gonna forget to take my medication and die and I'm not about to tell her I'm twenty years old and don't want to live with her anymore cuz she'll get upset and, trust me, nobody wants that. My sanity is a small price to pay for my safety."

Richie stared blankly at him. 'You are the most ridiculous person I have ever met. You're too worried about hurting mommy's feelings that you continue to live with her despite her being a literal nutjob?"

"My mother is not a nutjob!"

"Oh really? Cuz she sure did a job with my nuts last night!" Richie laughed, raising his hand up to high five Bill. Bill shook his head with a sigh.

Eddie's face turned to what he imagined to be the color of a tomato. He sputtered, trying to come up with something to come back with, but all he could say was, "You didn't fuck my mom!" Richie simply laughed, frustrating Eddie even more. "You're so insufferable! I think I'm getting a migraine." He unzipped his fanny pack to look for his bottle of aspirin, not noticing that Bev had pulled Bill away.

"This is a disaster!" Beverly told Bill as soon as they were a safe distance away. She turned back briefly to find that Richie has somehow managed to grab Eddie's fanny pack and was holding it above the shorter boy's head, too high for him to reach. Eddie was jumping furiously, trying to get it back as Richie laughed. She faced Bill. "You said that Eddie and Richie would be perfect together! They hate each other!"

"I m-may have underestimated Richie's obnoxiousness, b-but trust me, it isn't over yet."

"What do you mean it's not over yet? The entire time they were together they were fighting with each other!"

"B-bev," Bill said, looking over her shoulder.

Beverly ignored him. "Now, I know that some people like a light banter in their relationship, but this is a bit over the top."

"Bev," Bill said, more forcefully this time.

"I mean, Richie is frankly a little disgusting, no offense," Beverly continued. "Eddie is a major germaphobe. There is no way that two completely opposing personalities like that could ever fall for each other. They-"

"Bev!" Bill shouted, forcefully turning her towards their two friends.

"They-they-they're making out?" Beverly watched as Richie held Eddie by his t-shirt, they're faces smashed into each other. Eddie had his hands on Richie's cheeks, pulling the taller boy down to him. Beverly could only stare, wondering what in the world had happened in the two seconds she had her back turned to cause the two boys to turn from bickering rivals to...that.

"I t-t-told you," Bill said proudly. She looked back to see a smile on his face. She threw her hands up towards him, an unspoken "What the fuck?" He shrugged. "Richie has always b-been an asshole. He finally found someone who fights b-b-back."

Beverly let out a huff of breath. "Huh," was all she could say.


	2. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie hides a secret from his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was having some issues with the formatting of this, so if it looks weird, I apologize. Hope you still enjoy!

Eddie woke to the sound of his mother coming down the hallway and the blood drained from his face. He panicked, pushing the still-sleeping body laying next to him off the bed.

"What the-" the now-awake Richie stuttered.

"Shhh!" Eddie whispered back, trying to settle back into bed before his mom noticed something was wrong. 

"Eddie bear!" he heard from right outside his door. "Breakfast is ready!" Without bothering to knock, as was typical, Eddie's mom entered his room. She tilted her head at his ruffled self. "Eddie bear, why are you not wearing a shirt? It's so cold in here, you're gonna get sick!"

"I...uh...I was feeling a little warm last night," he lied. 

He realized his mistake at his mother's change in expression. "Oh dear! Do you have a fever, sweetie?" She rushed over and put her hand on his forehead.

He glanced nervously to the other side of his bed, where Richie had fortunately gotten the message and had hidden underneath the bed. "I'm fine now, mommy! It was just a last night thing. I feel much better."

She pursed her lips. "I don't know, you feel kind of warm and your face is getting all pink. I'm going to go get the thermometer." She left the room and Eddie sighed with relief that she hadn't noticed the extra person in the room. 

"You need to get out of here now," he whispered to Richie. "You have like a minute until she comes back."

"There is no way I can get out of here in less than a minute." Richie hissed, not moving from his hiding spot. "I need more time."

Eddie sighed. He knew Richie was right, but the longer he was here, the higher the chance his mother was going to notice. It was then that he realized the clothes that were scattered around his room. It was a miracle his mom hadn't noticed it before. He hurriedly grabbed the clothes, throwing them in the laundry hamper, then added a few clean clothes from his closet to cover up the fact that some of them were not his. He had just enough time to crawl back into bed and whisper a hurried, "I'll think of something," to Richie before his mom returned, thermometer in hand.

"Now let's see." She stuck the thermometer in his mouth and waited, lips pursed. "98.9. A little high, but not a fever yet. Still, maybe you should stay home today."

"Mommy, I'm fi-"

"It's just for the best, okay? You don't want to catch an illness. Your immune system is much more sensitive than the average boy. It's better to be safe than sorry, right?"

"Yes, mommy." He heard a chuckle coming from under the bed and covered it up with a cough.

His mother's concern deepened. "And a cough? Definitely a day in bed for you. I'll skip the bacon and eggs I made for you and get you some soup." She glanced at the laundry hamper. "Oh, that's getting a bit high. We don't wanna leave the outside bacteria from the week just sitting here while you're in such poor health. I'll get this out of the way." She left, taking the hamper with her.

Eddie sighed with relief. Somehow, they had managed to keep their secret. Even if it did mean Eddie was now bedridden for the rest of the day. He got up, closed the door, then jumped when he looked back to see Richie lounging on his bed, clad only in his underwear. Eddie realized he was also only in his underwear and became suddenly very self-conscious.

"So, what we doing today, Eds?"

"Don't call me that," he muttered. "What makes you think you're staying here? My mom isn't going to just leave me be for the rest of the day. She's coming back."

Richie shrugged. "Yeah, well, she kinda took my clothes. I might be fine to walk around showing off my hot bod, but it's kind of a long walk and I don't think your petite clothes are gonna fit me."

Eddie slapped his hand to his forehead. "The clothes! I didn't even think about it! What are we gonna do?"

Richie grinned. "I was thinking we could do a little replay of last night."

"Last night was a one time-" Richie gave him a look. "-_two-time_ thing." His face turned red and he busied himself by finding some clothes to put on. "That is definitely not something I do often. Or at all. Do you know how much bacteria is exchanged during sex? A lot. It's...it's...it's disgusting, okay? Never happening again."

"You didn't seem to think it was so disgusting last night." Eddie grabbed a sweater out of his closet and threw it on, moving towards his dresser to find pants. "Aw, don't do that on my account. I thought this party was clothing optional. You know, considering you have the option and _I don't." _

"Shhh," Eddie hissed, slipping into some sweatpants. "I really was out of my mind last night. You probably drugged me or something."

"If I had drugged you, you wouldn't have remembered anything," Richie pointed out.

"Well, maybe you're a witch and you put me under some sort of spell."

"A witch? Really?" he laughed. "You know, if I remember correctly, _you _kissed _me _first, _you _invited _me _back to _your _place, _you_-"

"Okay, I get it!" Eddie snapped. "I don't need a recap! I wasn't myself last night."

Richie got up and started walking towards Eddie, but the sound of footsteps caused them both to panic once again. Eddie got up and shoved Richie into his closet. The irony was not lost on him, nor to Richie if the look he shot him was anything to judge by. His mom entered right when he shut the door, and he tried to steady his breathing.

"Oh good, you got some warmer clothes on," she told him, setting the tray she had prepared down on his bed. "I made you some chicken soup and brought up your morning meds for you to take as well as some extra vitamin C. Are you going to be good for a while while I watch my shows?"

Eddie almost shouted his praises. "Yes, mommy. Thank you. Enjoy your shows!" She leaned her head down and he kissed her cheek.

She paused just inside his door. "Oh, and you should take a shower. You smell...strange." He quickly closed the door behind her and sighed with relief, sliding down it until he was sitting against it.

"I mean, just saying," Richie said, coming out of the closet and seeming keen on finishing their conversation. "Last night you were just as erratic as you are currently, so it's not like you had a personality change." He paused, settling back down on the bed and playing with the cup of pills on the tray. "Why do you take so much medication?" Eddie ignored him. Richie shrugged, setting them down, and took a sip from the cup of orange juice. "And, if you did have a personality change, that would be disappointing, cuz I was kinda into last night you."

Eddie froze, looking up at Richie. "You were?" he asked slowly. He hated how insecure he sounded. I mean, they'd just had sex for Christ's sake. That you usually meant you were into someone. But nobody did for long. They might be attracted to him, but once they were exposed to his various quirks, they ran for the hills. "What about today me?"

Richie coughed. "Well, today you has tried to kick me out of his house with no clothes, shoved me back into the closet that I've been out of for two years, and has yelled at me. A lot." He grinned. "I like today you, too." Eddie smiled back, and it was a very nice moment, ended abruptly by a pillow launching into Eddie's face. "Biatch," Richie said.

Eddie rolled his eyes, throwing it back at him. "Asshole."

"Dipshit."

"Motherfucker-don't you say it!"

Richie snapped his mouth shut and grinned. He placed the pillow behind his neck and laid down. "So, what are we gonna do today?" He wiggled his eyebrows. "I believe a shower was on the table?"


	3. Pomeranians, ABBA, and Booty Shorts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an Eddie-centric comedy routine, Eddie and Richie join the losers for Abba karaoke night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has finally arrived! Honestly, this chapter is such a mess. Believe me, it had a plot at one point, but it kinda went everywhere. I was listening to ABBA while trying to figure out what to write about, so hence the karaoke, which is honestly not easy to write out. Neither are these comedy routines. I've been writing this in between piles of homework assignments and meetings and finished it during a literal party. Idek what is going on here, but I hope you enjoy it all the same!

"My boyfriend Eddie and I have been dating for about five weeks now." The crowd cheered and Richie clapped along with them. "I know! I know, right? Like, who would've thought that someone would tolerate me for that long?" Eddie laughed along with the crowd. He really didn't know either. "Now, we've reached this special point of our relationship where I've finally asked the big question. You know, the one about whether or not I'm allowed to make fun of him in my routines. The ultimate question in a relationship, right? Now, he said yes, but he had one rule. He said he hated it when comedians make fun of their partners on stage by saying how much they don't like them. Like, that's ridiculous, right? He said, 'You can make fun of me, but you cannot say that I am a bitch and that you don't like me.' And I was like, 'The bar has never been lower!' I mean, why would I go on stage and tell everyone that my boyfriend is a bitch and that I don't like him? My boyfriend is a bitch and I like him _so much_." Eddie smiled as the crowd cheered again, burying his face in his shirt. "Most people didn't think that we were going to work. Who could blame them? I'm a bit of a slob who never shuts up, he's a germaphobe who also never shuts up. We drive each other crazy, and I absolutely _love_ it! It's never boring! We have this hammock in my room that is definitely not big enough for two grown men, but we'll still both lay in it facing each other, our legs all tangled up, just reading, and he'll just reach his foot over and smack me in the face, or knock my glasses off! Just because! Just because. It's awesome." He paused, grabbing a drink from the water bottle under the stool. "So, my boyfriend Eddie is a five feet tall hypochondriac who always wears a fanny pack and occasionally wears booty shorts."

"I do _not_-," Eddie blurted loudly. Many of the audience members laughed, and some craned their necks to get a look at him.

Richie made a buzzing sound. "I'm on a timer, babe." The audience laughed as Eddie crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, a scowl on his face. Richie blew him a kiss. "Ignore him, that is entirely factual information. I don’t really have a joke to go with that, I just needed you all to know.” The audience laughed. Eddie was going to kill him “We recently adopted this Pomeranian dog from the shelter. She likes to go on walks, but she’s getting kind of old and has all these health issues, so we bought her a stroller to ride in. We’ll be out on a walk and people will stop and be like, “Oh, can I see your baby?” And we're like “Oh yeah sure” and they’ll peak their head in and see our elderly Pomeranian dog with asthma just breathing in their face like-“ He mimicked the dog by hyperventilating with his eyes wide open and his tongue out. Eddie rolled his eyes. “And people will get all weirded out. I don’t really get it. Anyways, I really love my dog, and I love my boyfriend, Eddie!” He blew another kiss. “Goodnight, everybody!”

Richie walked off stage as the crowd cheered and the announcer came back out. When Richie came out from the side door to join him, Eddie stood up to greet him, letting Richie kiss him on the cheek. He crossed his arms and stared at him.

“What?” Richie asked, a sly smile on his face. “Is this about the booty shorts? Cuz you know I love them.”

“Did you _really _just say ‘I love you’ for the first time on stage at your comedy show?”

Richie shrugged, his grin widening. “Maybe. Doesn’t make it any less true.”

Eddie blushed. “Well, I love _you_. Asshole.” Richie leaned down and kissed him and Eddie stood on his tiptoes to get closer. Some people at a nearby table whistled at them and they pulled back, laughing softly.

The man at the microphone cleared his throat. "You had your time, Tozier. Stop stealing my spotlight, thank you."

Richie waved at the crowd, grabbing Eddie's hand and dragging him out of the club. "Ready for Abba karaoke night?" he asked, leading them down the sidewalk. Eddie sighed. Richie looked down at him, a worried look on his face. "What's wrong? Not feeling it? Is it your allergies?"

"I wanted to say it first," Eddie muttered.

"What?"

"I wanted to say it first," Eddie repeated, louder this time.

Richie stopped short. "You're dating Trashmouth Tozier, the guy with absolutely no filter, and you thought you could say something first with me? Please."

Eddie said nothing, continuing to pout. Richie rolled his eyes and grabbed his boyfriend, pulling him into the nearby alley. "The hell are you doing?" Eddie asked.

Richie pushed him up against the building, sticking his face really close to Eddie's. "Say it," he told him.

"What are you talking about, Richie? You know I hate alleys. They're filthy."

"Say it," he said. "Tell me how much you love me."

"You know, I'm having trouble recalling exactly what I feel about you. I'm sensing some resentment down in there. I'm still not completely passed the you being a witch thing."

Richie laughed. "Come on. You know you love me. I wanna hear you say it again."

Eddie looked him directly in the eye and said, "I love you, you dumb piece of shit."

Richie smiled. "And I love you, too, booty shorts."

Eddie groaned, pushing him away. "It was like one time!"

"It was a few times," Richie told him. "And I absolutely loved them, and I love your booty, and I love your face, and I love you."

Eddie laughed gleefully as Richie pressed him against the building again, this time kissing him until Eddie felt light-headed and had to pull away. He didn't even care about how disgusting the brick wall he was leaning against was. "So," Eddie said casually, trying to hide how out of breath he was. "Abba karaoke?"

Richie pulled back reluctantly. "Right. We gotta get going. Everyone is waiting for us." He grabbed Eddie's hand and they walked to the karaoke bar, significantly more optimistically than before.

As soon as they entered the building, Bev ran up to them. "Where have you guys been? I'm about to go on!" At their looks to each other, she groaned. "Come on, guys. Can you be obsessed with each other another night? I put your request in, Richie. You go after me."

"Thanks, Bev," Richie told her. "Won't happen again. Actually, you know what, it will probably happen again. This guy is irresistible." Bev rolled her eyes. He led Eddie over to the table where the rest of their friends sat as she prepared for her big number.

The woman on stage finished up her terrible rendition of "Fernando" and the audience clapped weakly. The announcer called Bev up next and the gang cheered as "Dancing Queen" started playing. She wasn't a bad singer, though Eddie wasn't surprised considering her history in theater. When she finished, the others in the audience clapped politely as their group of friends screamed their praises.

'Nicely done, Bev," Richie said. "But now it's time for the real star of the show." Bev elbowed him but laughed. Richie took his place on stage, dramatically posing as he waited for the song to begin. Eddie smiled as music to "Waterloo" began and Richie pointed to Eddie and yelled, "This is for you, babe!"

Eddie had heard Richie sing plenty of times, and this time was no different. He was...very, very bad. He made up for his terrible singing with over-the-top dancing and throwing himself around the stage. Eddie would be lying if he said it wasn't deeply entertaining. When it was over, he ran over and kissed Eddie on the cheek. "So, what'd you think?" he asked.

Eddie thought for a second. "You have a very good stage presence," he told him.

Richie considered this, then nodded. "I'll take it."

He was followed by Bill expertly singing "Gimme Gimme Gimme" and Stan, who sang through "Mamma Mia" standing completely straight, looking directly at Richie who grew more and more frustrated. ("You're supposed to make it a show, Stanley! It's supposed to be _fun_!" "I had plenty of fun, actually.") When it was Ben's turn, Eddie didn't miss the fact that it looked like the guy was singing parts of "Souper Trouper" directly to Bev. He also didn't miss the fact that Bev didn't seem to mind. He bumped her shoulder and gave her a knowing grin and she responded by whispering, "Shut up," with a small smile.

As Mike sang "Take A Chance On Me," Ben leaned over and whispered, "What are you gonna sing, Eddie?"

Eddie shook his head. "I'll leave the theatrics to Richie."

"What?" Richie said, frowning. "You're not gonna sing anything?"

"That's really not my thing. I'm too afraid to go up there and sing."

Richie squeezed his hand. "You're braver than you think." His face lit up. "I have an idea!" He disappeared to talk to the announcer.

Mike's song ended and the music to "Lay All Your Love On Me" started as Richie returned to drag Eddie up on stage. "Just look at me," Richie told him. "I'll go first, and you join in when you're ready. It'll be fun. Just relax." When the music picked up, he started dancing around, still holding Eddie's hand so he was moving Eddie with him. When he started his verse, he had almost the same level of dramatics as before, but this time directed only at Eddie. Eddie couldn't help but smile watching his overdramatic boyfriend. When the music for the second verse began, Richie nodded and Eddie slowly moved the microphone to his mouth. It was insane how much he related to the lyrics he sang. Of course Richie would pick this song. Richie joined in at the chorus, and Eddie let himself dance along. Richie started the next verse, and Eddie took over the next line. He shook his head at Richie as he sang the line about being sensible. The crowd seemed to disappear as they sang, and Eddie was able to get more into the music. It was like they were singing along to Abba in Richie's living room. Nothing else mattered but the two of them.

When the audience cheered at the end of the song, Eddie snapped back into reality, laughing nervously as he realized he just sang in front of all of them. It was a fairly small crowd, with half of them being their friends, but it was still nerve-racking. He grabbed Richie's hand and pulled him back to where their friends were stood up and cheering, saying things like "Awesome job up there!" and "You're a natural!" He rolled his eyes, knowing they were lying. He was about a good of a singer as Richie. Though he had to admit, it had been fun.

"Think it's time to head back to your place?" he whispered to Richie.

"What are you gonna tell your mom?"

Eddie shrugged. "I'll tell her I'm at Stan's place. She likes Stan."

"No idea why she would like _Stan_," Richie said loudly. Stan glared at him and Richie blew him a kiss. "I love and support you with all my heart, Stanley!" Stan gave him the finger, but there was no animosity in his look. Eddie loved their friends, even if they shared a single brain cell between the seven of them. He glanced at Richie, who was grinding up against Stan now, to the latter's displeasure. Richie never had the brain cell.

As he grabbed his jacket, Beverly approached him. "You heading out?"

"Yeah, I'm staying at Richie's tonight."

Bev raised her eyebrows. "Again? I feel like you're always there these days. You're basically living together."

Eddie felt suddenly defensive. "So?"

"I don't know. I just feel like maybe you're moving a little fast. You guys met just over a month ago."

"I know," Eddie agreed. "Sometimes it feels like we're going too fast. Sometimes it feels like we're going too slow. It feels like I've just met him, but at the same time, like I've known him forever. I don't understand it, but he understands me. Maybe we will crash and burn, but I can't say that I'll ever regret meeting him."

"Hey, spaghetti nuts, you ready to go yet?" Richie shouted at him.

Eddie closed his eyes and sighed. "Already starting to doubt that." Richie walked over to him and threw his arm around Eddie's shoulder. 

"I know I say this a lot," Eddie told him. "But do not call me that. I don't even know where you got that from."

"Well, 'spaghetti' rhymes with your name." He said it as if it were obvious. Typical Richie logic. "And as for your nuts..."

"I'm gonna stop you there," Beverly interrupted quickly. "Have a good night." She left to join the others.

"Any night is a good night with you," Richie whispered to him. Eddie felt his face heat up. "Biatch," Richie added. Eddie rolled his eyes. He loved his stupid trashmouth boyfriend.


	4. Placebos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected late-night visitor causes a major disturbance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with the later than planned update! Idk really know what my excuse is this time. I had the whole weekend to write, and I did, but also time passed way too fast? On the bright side, I got my roommate to watch IT on Friday! And she liked it! Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter!

It was around two o'clock in the morning when they woke to the sound of banging at the front door. Eddie jumped up from where he slept with his arm thrown over Richie's back and looked around the room. There was a light shining through the window curtains that looked like headlights.

"Richie," Eddie hissed to his still-sleeping boyfriend. Richie moaned. Eddie shook him. "Richie! Someone's at the door, and I think it's my mother."

Sure enough, his mom's voice shouted through the door, "Eddie! Eddie, I know you're in there! You lied to me! This isn't Stanley's house!"

Richie snapped his head up, shooting Eddie a worried look. "Is that your mom?"

Eddie resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes! My mother is here! At a place she was not aware of me being at, and a place she would not be happy about me being at!"

Richie rubbed at his eyes. "Why does your mom always have to ruin such a nice sleep?"

Eddie groaned and climbed out of bed, trying to find some clothes to put on. He slipped on his jeans from last night and grabbed a hoodie that he suspected was Richie's, but that didn't matter to him at the moment. He slid up the oversized sleeves and stumbled his way to the front door.

He didn't say anything once he opened the door. He didn't have the chance. As soon as his mother saw him, she started yelling. "What in the world are you doing here? I don't think Stanley moved in the two days since you were last there. Did you lie to me then, too? How am I supposed to keep you safe when I don't know where you are? What even is this place? Who lives here?"

Right on cue, Richie appeared behind him, wearing pajama pants and halfway through putting a t-shirt on. "Is there a problem, officer?" he asked, yawning.

Eddie's mom looked back and forth between them before settling her eyes on Richie. "And who are you?"

Richie held his hand out. "Well, my friends call me 'Trashmouth', but my official name is Richard Tozier."

"Richie..." Eddie warned, touching his hand to his forehead.

Eddie's mom narrowed her eyes. "What is my son doing at your house?"

"I think the more pressing question is what _you _are doing at my house." Richie stared her down, obviously still fighting his exhaustion, but not letting her intimidate him.

"I'm here to bring my son home. He shouldn't be here. He was _supposed _to be at his friend Stanley's." She shot Eddie a disapproving look and he winced.

Richie adjusted his glasses. "And how exactly did you know that he wasn't, huh? What'd you do, put a tracker in him?"

Eddie looked at his mother, waiting for her to laugh and tell him that no, of course she didn't put a tracker in him. When she didn't, he felt the blood drain from his face. "Is that true?" he asked her. He looked down at his arms in horror. "You put some sort of chip in me?"

"Of course not," she told him. She paused, before quietly adding, "It's in your watch. I just wanted to keep you safe!"

Eddie didn't know what to say. Richie was the opposite. "Keep him _safe_? Safe from what? The only thing he needs to be kept safe from is you."

"How _dare _you? I am his _mother_! What do you know about him?"

Richie scoffed. "Well, for one, I know that the pills he takes are just placebos."

"What's a placebo?" Eddie whispered. He could barely make out the words. He wasn't even sure if anyone could hear him.

"How could you possibly know that?" Eddie didn't like the way his mother didn't deny Richie's accusation.

"I saw that Eddie was taking a bunch of medication and was concerned. So, I looked into them. I read everything that was on the bottles and did some research at the library. They're all placebos. They're bullshit. So is his asthma. You think I don't know what a panic attack looks like? Did you know he was suffering from anxiety or were you just so desperate to believe it was asthma? The only reason I never told him was because I talked to a doctor about it and she told me it might be better for him to believe that his inhaler and his pills were making him better. Something called 'the placebo effect.' Were you just going to let him believe he was sick his entire life? For what reason? To keep him from seeing you for the psycho that you are and leave you? That doesn't sound like keeping him safe to me. That sounds like keeping him prisoner." Eddie was having trouble breathing.

"Who the hell are you to tell me how to raise my son?"

"I'm the only one here who actually _cares_ about him! Don't you see what you're doing to him? He's _suffocating_."

"R-r-richie," Eddie tried, breathing heavily.

"Suffocating? You're the one who kidnapped him!"

"Kidnapped? He _wanted_ to come here. No doubt cuz he didn't want to be around _you_. He-"

"Beep beep, Richie," Eddie managed. It was the only thing he knew was guaranteed to shut him up.

Sure enough, Richie snapped his head over. He had just enough time to rush over and catch Eddie as he blacked out.

Richie kicked the fridge closed, opening the bottle of beer in his hand. He walked to the hallway and slid down against the wall across from the door. He had panicked after Eddie passed out, and his mother had taken advantage of that weakness to grab Eddie and take him away. He was probably at some hospital, getting a bunch of tests done on him unnecessarily. It had happened before, them being separated by Eddie being stuck in a hospital. It was insane. Sure, Eddie did have a few allergies, but he wasn't sick. His only problem was the anxiety and stress brought on by his mother's paranoia. He really was a hypochondriac, and Richie was okay with that. He just wasn't okay with the fact that he was only a hypochondriac because his mother made him into one.

He wanted to blame Eddie's mother for what happened, but he knew that it was partially his fault. If he hadn't argued with her, if he could've been capable of shutting the hell up, then he would have noticed that Eddie wasn't doing well. Richie always tried to help Eddie through his panic attacks, but this time he had failed him. And now he was gone.

It was half-past three o'clock in the morning when Bill finally came home, laughing and accompanied by a guy Richie didn't know. He stopped short when he saw Richie sitting there, two empty bottles at his side and a half-drunken one in his hand. He frowned. "Hey, Richie. W-w-where's Eddie? I thought he was s-staying over tonight."

"I thought so, too, Big Bill," Richie said, raising his bottle to him. His words were slightly slurred, but he didn't really care.

Bill knelt down beside him. Richie kind of felt bad for the guy, who was standing by the door awkwardly, but he also was really sick of being alone right now. He needed to vent. Screw that guy. Or, more accurately, don't. "What happened, R-r-rich?"

"His mom found out about us," Richie told him. "She came here like an hour ago screaming about protecting him or some nonsense. He had this panic attack and passed out, and she took him."

"Jeez, Richie. I'm sorry."

He put his face in his hands. If Eddie were here, he would have complained about Richie smudging his glasses. "God, I should've done something."

Bill rubbed his back. "I don't know if there was anything you could do. She's his mother."

"She's a wretched bitch is what she is," Richie said. The guy at the door whistled. "I've been nice about her around Eddie, but she's a fucking loony. She messed him up bad. And, I just-" He took a breath. "What if she doesn't let me see him anymore? I don't know if I could handle that."

"I'm s-sure it won't c-some to that," Bill said, but he didn't sound sure.

"I've been there," the guy said, joining them on the floor. "I dated this guy in high school in secret, and when his parents found out, they moved him away." Richie shot him a horrified look and Bill smacked his shoulder. "Um, not that that's gonna happen to you, of course."

Richie groaned. "You guys are the worst fucking support system ever. Just go bone and leave me to my wallowing."

"Really?" the guy said, perking up.

"No!" Bill told him. The guy slumped his shoulders with a sigh. Bill put his arm around Richie. "I'm not l-leaving you in y-your time of need." He shot his date a pointed look.

"Yeah, Rich..." he said unenthusiastically, patting his shoulder. "We are here for you."

"Really, guys, I'm fi-

The door opened slowly and the three of them snapped their heads to see who it was. Edde's head appeared through the opening and Richie's heart almost stopped. Eddie closed the door behind him, then tilted his head at them. "What is this, a funeral? I'm gone for an hour and you just assume I'm dead? Although let's be real, I thought that might be a possibility for a bit there." They continued to stare at him in shock. He nodded his head at Bill's date. "Who's that guy?"

Bill blinked, breaking out of his trance. "Oh, uh, this is B-b-brad." Brad waved awkwardly. "We m-met at karaoke."

"Wait, you managed to actually summon a man after midnight?" Eddie asked. "I'm impressed." Bill blushed.

Richie tried to get to his feet but fell back against the wall. "Well, it was nice meeting you B-b-brad, but I think I can take it from here."

"Thank God," Brad said, getting to his feet. "I am terrible at dealing with other people's emotions." He helped Bill up, though Bill looked hesitant to leave.

"W-w-we could tell," Bill told him. After confirming from both Richie and Eddie that it was alright to leave, he dragged Brad off towards his room. When they were farther away, Richie could just barely hear Bill say, "Well hopefully y-you're better with other people's b-bodies."

"Damn," Richie said. "At least someone is having a good night. Because my night? It was kinda shit."

Eddie looked down. "I'm sorry."

"Oh no," Richie said quickly. "It is _far _from being your fault. I'm the one who couldn't keep my mouth shut with your mom. I should've tried to diffuse the situation, but I just made it worse. I really have earned the nickname Trashmouth."

"No. There was no way my mother was going to be fine with me lying to her, no matter what you could've come up with. You had the courage to say what I've been avoiding for years. You stood up to her in a way I could only dream of. You really are fearless."

"No, I'm not."

Eddie looked confused. "Really? What are you afraid of?"

Richie looked down at the ground. "Losing you."

"Richie." Eddie walked over and joined Richie on the floor. He laid his head against Richie's shoulder. Richie wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly. "You're not gonna lose me. I won't let that happen."

They sat like that for a few minutes before Richie pulled back. "God, I'm an asshole. I never asked you if you were okay. How did you get away from your mom?"

"Well, I woke up in my bed back home and my mom was sitting in a chair next to my bed watching me. She freaked out on me when she saw I was awake, fussing over my health. She also yelled at me about lying to her again and about how there was no way that guy with the bird's nest on his head would know how to take care of me."

Richie ran his hand threw his hair sadly. "She didn't need to come for my hair like that," he muttered.

Eddie smiled, grabbing Richie's hand. "I like your bird's nest." He dropped his hand, looking down. "It wasn't just that. She also lectured me on the dangers of exchanging saliva and other bodily fluids with someone and STDs and AIDs and all that shit I've been hearing all my life that has left me absolutely terrified, and I can't say that I've never felt that with you, but I do know that with you is where I feel safest and I can't promise you that I will ever stop being afraid of germs and disease and I know you find that silly, but-"

"I don't," Richie interrupted. "I know I may joke around a bit about it because I joke about everything, and yeah, I don't really understand it, but I knew what I was getting into when I first met you and you yelled at me about bacteria and staph infections. I went home that night and told Bill I had met the most perfect guy. Did you know he and Bev set us up? Guy knows me too well."

"No one actually told me anything, but I always assumed. Bev was way too eager for me to go to your show that night. I really didn't think I was actually gonna like the guy."

Richie laughed softly. "I don't know. I always knew there was something about you. Bill showed me your picture and I thought you were cute. I had no idea how cute, though. Not until that night in the comedy club when I couldn't keep my eyes off you." He reached his hand over to stroke Eddie's chest. "Or that night when I couldn't keep my hands off you."

Eddie laughed, smacking his hand away. "Is it just me, or are you being a bit more trashmouthy than usual?"

"I may be a little bit drunk," Richie admitted.

Eddie rolled his eyes with a small grin, pulling both him and Richie to their feet. Richie grabbed his bottle and finished it. "I think it's time to get to bed."

Richie wiggled his eyebrows. "To sleep or to-"

"To sleep, you horny slut," Eddie told him. "We have a big day tomorrow."

"What do you mean?"

Eddie wouldn't meet his eyes. "We're having dinner with my mother!" he said enthusiastically.

Richie dropped his bottle and it shattered on the floor. "You have _got _to be joking."

Eddie had the decency to look apologetic. "I love you?"

"You are lucky you're cute."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I have at least one more chapter in this. As always, I don't know when it will be up. I actually have a very busy week this week, but I will do my best to have it up sometime soon. I hope it will be the last one, cuz the more I write, the worse it gets. I also have another reddie fic I started writing, but it is very undeveloped so far so we will see how that goes. I hope you enjoyed!


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